“‘Good’ Bad Day: Descriptive phrase denoting a day of higher than usual pain/symptomatic levels, but one in which the Spoonie is still able to enjoy oneself.”
*note: this is my definition; yours may differ*
These days are sometimes the unicorns of my chronic illness world; few and far between to the point that sometimes in between them, I wonder if they really happened or I’ve imagined them–normally higher symptomatic levels mean misery and less activity or being stuck in bed for me.
Such days are often take-a-break-from-life days imposed by my body and its limits or by me ignoring my body and its limits (we all do it sometimes despite our best intentions)…and more and more often since I had to give up meds and treatment due to losing medical coverage, they are non-days where I may or may not be even minimally functional.
But occasionally, the heavens shine on me and grant me a day that even though I feel exceptionally terrible on, I’m able to interact either online or in person and just plain enjoy myself, pain or not.
Yesterday was a “good” bad day.
Yesterday, many in the migraine community were caught up in Shades for Migraine and having so much fun with it that I felt better mentally just watching their stories and posts and new graphics inspired by the big day. It was contagious; I found myself constantly pulled back in; I had a storm of inspiration for new graphics and created a social media profile pic frame. A few friends asked me to add it to their pics, and a few strangers did, too, which naturally thrilled me; few things make an artist happier than people who appreciate his/her work, but I also enjoyed connecting with new people in the migraine community.
Before I knew it, it was midnight and I needed sleep…in other places the day was just starting, and along with it, more migraineurs across the world were joining the party. As I strapped on my trusty ice pack waited for the Sandman to appear, I was in no less physical misery, but I was content and even happy.
No matter what I was dealing with right then, I was a part of one big extra family I’d never expected to be part of several years ago. I was surrounded by migraine brothers and sisters and those who love us.
No matter how bad things get, those people are always there for me…and I hope I’m there for them just as much.
Chronic, episodic, silent, hemiplegic…and every other variation…you are my family.
And we are fighting together, for ourselves and others.
And if that thought can’t help a bad day feel somewhat more tolerable, I don’t know what will (Yeah, except maybe a cure…I’ll shut up now).
Much love – Selena
Some of my fun with graphics from yesterday:
Down The Rabbit Hole: Life With Chronic Daily Migraine, Depression, and Anxiety 